Thankful Anyway Thursday

While I was feeding the Sprout yesterday morning, I heard a lady outside screaming.  Unfortunately, this isn't a rare occurrence, but this was more wailing than angry shouting.  As always, I went outside to look when I heard swearing (that is my cue to go look) and I saw a woman distraught standing with her children, who are also crying, looking at a marmalade cat who is sleeping on the side of the road.

I walked over to the lady, because obviously this cat was not sleeping, and I ask her if it is her cat, and she cries "yes".  She has a towel in her hand and I ask if she would like a hug (something I don't do for many people, just ask my dad) and she says "yes".  It was a horribly sad situation.  After a look over, I decide that the cat had been hit by a car (something I can't believe doesn't happen more often considering the amount of cats around, and the amount of cars that zoom through).  I give her piece of mind that that was the cause of the end of her cat's nine lives.  Luckily the cat didn't look bad, just a bit of blood.

Because I had worked in a vet and because it was not my cat, I asked her if she would like me to pick the cat up and put it into a box, she says "yes".  One of my neighbours comes out of her house to take her children to school and she asks me if everything was alright and I tell her what happened.  She stayed with the woman while I went to get a box (I was lucky I had one).  While I was gone my neighbour told the woman that she needed to calm down and get the children out of there because it wasn't good for them, something I had thought about but didn't say.

When I returned I asked again if she wanted me to put the cat in the box, but this time she picked up the cat and squeezed it and told me how much she had loved the cat and how she knew she shouldn't have left it out.  It was amazing to me how fast the stages of mourning were happening.  She placed the cat in the box and we talked about what she should do, and I carried the box to her doorstep as she left to take the kids to school.  I went back to my house, picked some pansies, rosemary and lavender, looked up the number for her to call, wrote it down with a little note and my phone number, then went back and placed it on the box.

I had a strange energy of peace going through me.  It was the calming energy of being able to be calm in a stressful situation.  But when I sat down to return to feeding the Sprout, I began to sob, not just cry, but sob.  It was so sad, especially to see the kids on the other side of the road crying and watching their mother mourn over the loss of her cat.  It was heart breaking.  Luckily Richard was home to console me.

I am thankful anyway that I am a good neighbour.  I still don't know the names of the majority of my neighbours, but obviously I care enough to look outside when I hear something is wrong.  The other day, I heard a woman two doors down raging at her children from inside her house (this wasn't the first time).  I stood outside the house to see how this would escalate, but when she threatened to physically harm one of the children (there is a toddler and a baby) while screaming for the child to get out, I got the lady across the street and we knocked on the door and offered to take the kids.  Of course they said "no" (the husband was there too), but we had to let them know we could hear them .  Their neighbours conveniently took their garbage out and left their door open when they heard us knock (a trick I have done before, so I knew they were snooping), but they weren't going to intervene.  I know they could hear what was going on because the walls aren't that thick (I mean you could hear them from across the road).  So yesterday I decided to report them to child services when the girl that lives behind me told me that the woman does it all the time.

Because I know that we will be living here, I finally have a sense of permanence.  Something I have not had since I lived with my parents.  Because of this I have been getting out more, looking to see what is around, and feeling more comfortable getting involved with my neighbours.

I recently discovered my backyard joins with one of the ladies at my Bouncing Babies group, and a couple of the other ladies live really close.  All of our babies are around the same age.  We go to 3 groups together and I am enjoying their company which feels really good.  After having ridden the train to E's I feel more confident about traveling to her house and I hope to see more of her.

Some of this also comes with it being Summer.  It is so much easier to go outside when I don't have to bundle the Sprout up and it is sunny.

But I digress...
I am happy to find that I am a good neighbour, open to meeting the people on my street and to find that I am calm in ugly situations.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

This Thankful Anyway is brought to you by an email that D wrote me the other day.

If you want to have another baby . . . DON'T DO IT HERE! Thank GOD I have insurance!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe all those people protesting health care reform!!! Sure, I am not very well informed on the subject, but I can't help but think that most of those people protesting would find it difficult to pay their medical bills without assistance. Even with good insurance, our yearly out of pocket max is a sum that most "average" Americans would find very difficult to deal with on top of all of their other debts. Not to mention, if my care extended over two calender years (like if I got pregnant in August and gave birth the following April) in which case I could pay the max EACH YEAR! Thankfully, we have planned for this. We are financially stable, but it was still a very eye opening experience when I went through all of the bills/insurance stuff today. So, are you curious?

Routine OB care $4231.00 (this is just for my Dr visits)

Hospital stay for C-Section $11,000 (4 days of healthy mom and baby care)

Anesthesiologist $754 (for the Anesthesiologist's time)

Two ultrasounds $500 (approximate)

Other lab tests $244 (approximate - all of those pee tests etc)

Estimated total: $16,729.00

This is estimated - but it will not be less than this. If I hemorrhage or if baby is jaundiced that is more $$. There are probably other services that I was charged for but haven't included. Of course, a regular birth would cost less, but how many people end up with C-sections anyways?

My reply:

Oh yeah...I figured my situation would have cost $50,000 easy (probably upwards of $75,000+). Probably well over. 12 days in the hospital. Baby ICU for 4 days...special care for 6. All the drugs possible, constant monitoring, IV antibiotics and jaundice treatment for the sprout, and a c-section....and initial emergency room visit.

This is all before my 3 ultrasounds, routine bloodwork and tests, midwife appointments, emergency fetal heart monitoring, free prescriptions and dental care, and GP appointments. Then there is all the post natal care I have received; home visits by the midwives and health visitor, immunizations and my 6 week post natal check up.

So is my situation a for or against "socialized" health care?  I guess you can see it being eithrer way depending on how you vote on the subject.

All that I know is that when I was getting into that taxi on the way to the hospital my fist thought wasn't "oh shit, I hope everything is ok.."  My first thought was "oh shit, I wonder how much this would have cost me in the States?"

Do I really have to sum up this post?  I think not.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

I am already feeling the benefit of free healthcare for my Sprout.  He has been having major tummy problems (constipation) so we have to go to the doctor tomorrow  We have to go again on Monday for shots.

So tummy problems...bad

Free healthcare...good

We are having appliance problems.  Our dryer trips everytime we use it, therefore trying to dry the clothes with cold air.  So, we decided to unhook the trip, which has worked, but the other day, the wires heated up and melted the electrical tape that was holding wires together...we haven't quite decided if we should get a new one...we probably should.

Our refrigerator is stupid.  For one thing it is 75 liters (the size of those tiny hotel refrigerator) and it has a little freezer in it.  The little freezer constantly ices up (and I mean ICES up).  Luckily it was snowing today, so I put all our food outside so I could defrost the fridge.  Needless to say, we need a new fridge.  Luckily new fridges are on the cheap side, I am not really quite sure why we haven't gotten a new one, just lazy I guess.

Our new Christmas tree's lights are faulty.  After they have been on for about 5 hrs, they begin to dim and blink randomly.  I should  take it back, but then I would have to undress it, package it and haul it into town.  Maybe I could do it after Christmas and make it look like it happened a little later than it actually did.  On the bright side, if we put it on a blinking setting, it keeps the Sprout memorized for about a half an hour (I see a gamer in our future).

I am not quite sure how our appliance problems fits into the Thankful Anyway theme except maybe it will be cool to own my own appliances that are new and not used.  Very adult

Thankful Anyway Thursday

How cool to do a TAT on Thanksgiving!  Now I have extra pressure to turn up an excellent TAT, I don't know if I am up to the challenge this year.  Last year I turned out a good one, but I will have to try extra hard this year.

While I think of something...

What the Sprout is thankful for:

Yesterday was the Sprout's real due date.  We had him weighed and he is now 6lbs 11oz (he gained a pound and 3oz in 2 weeks)! almost a real birth weight!  Very exciting, he is still very tiny though.  So we all know the Sprout is thankful for "Mommy Milk" (copyrighted by my mom).  He also seems to be thankful for Michael Buble and the shadows on the wall next to the kitchen, as well as his mommy singing "Skylark" when he is sleepy-awake and disposable didies (also copyrighted by my mom).

I am still thinking...

Random thoughts on mommy hood:

Mommy hood is really tiring, especially with Richard at work.  During the day it really does feel like I am single mommying it.  Every other thing that has stressed and overwhelmed me in life does't even come close to the stress of being the only one who can feed a tiny being.  And I must say that this week I finally hit the breaking point...there is no other exhaustion that can compare, not even the days where I would go for 4 days without sleep because of my horrible insomnia.  In fact, I thought that annoying condition would help me, but it doesn't because I have no trouble sleeping, but having to personally produce food is so physically exhausting, like having the stomach flu exhausting.

Coming up blank...

This year's Thanksgiving festivities:

This year's Thanksgiving festivities will be taking place on December 5th.  It seems to be really hard to get 8 people together at the same time in November.  Auntie Cathy made a really cool Turkey bib that the Sprout will be sporting for the occasion.   This year will be the 5th Thanksgiving I have hosted, meaning I have spent 5 Thanksgivings away from home, but also that I am becoming awesome at making Thanksgiving Dinner...So in 25 years, the Allen's will have their new Thanksgiving person.  All of us Allen cousins find our place eventually.

I am getting it...

What I am thankful for:

This year I have a special place in my heart for family.  Last year I considered this one of the generic "Thankful fors" but this year family is especially special.   Not only can I say that I have my own family to be thankful for, but I can say that I am insanely grateful for my preexisting family of about 40 strong.  This thankfulness comes from years of layers that have been glimpsed under only to be kept hidden and left to mold and stink.  This year however, there was finally a deep cleaning and the carpet was replaced and the dirty laundry taken out, and because of this, the family has gotten stronger.  Oh, there are still tiny holes in the fabric that are being decided whether or not they should be mended or if the garment should simply be thrown away, but finally we are all on the same page and can now start with a fresh coat of paint.  And this is what I am truly grateful for this year.

For all the other things I have learned to be thankful for visit Thankful Anyway Thursday.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Coming to yah one handed with my shirt unbuttoned and a sleeping baby smelling of sour milk (I really should fix that) in my lap.

Well where to start?  I have been a bit busy, no time for my entries lately, but I guess I have some sort of Thankful Anyway to share.

Given, I have never given birth or raised a child in the US, but this whole experience is another shiny glimpse into British culture that many Americans would never have.  So far I have been a tourist, a student, a wife and a worker in the UK.  All of these experiences have been exciting and life changing but I think the most interesting (and the most scary) will be being a parent in the UK.

As England is a developed, industrialized, Western society like the US (can you tell I am reading a cultural anthropology book?) you would think that there wouldn't be too many differences, and I am sure there are not (however I have learned that just because we speak the same language doesn't mean we are the same culturally at all.)  However, one difference between the US and the UK is the Community Health Visitor and NHS midwives that come to your home after you have returned home from the hospital.

As a new parent without any family close by, it was great to have the midwives and health visitors come around to check up on me and the Sprout.  The midwives weighed and fussed over Nathan and helped me with the breast feeding, while the health visitor helps me with parenting.  After about a week at home I was discharged by the midwives and now only see the health visitor.

Once a week my chipper health visitor comes to my door with her nifty portable scale in hand and greets me with a serious "how are you feeling in yourself?" followed by "is the breast feeding going ok?"  She then comes in and we talk about things.  Her main objective seems to be that I bring up the child in a manner suitable to the British collective (I have been told not to tell her I am co-sleeping with the Sprout.as this is against the advice I was given to scare me into thinking my child would die of SIDS if I did.)

The visits have been all fine and dandy until this weeks where I encountered my first bit of Western parenting.  The dreaded advice that will ensure my child become an independent individual amongst society.  This advice was given in conjunction with my telling the health visitor that the Sprout hadn't been able to sleep the night before unless he was on Richard's or my chest and if I wasn't carrying him around, he had, what I saw as, an anxiety attack.  This was the advice I was given...

• I must not let the child be held too often or he will not want to be put down, which is unrealistic as I have things to do.

Yes, I have things to do, such as cook, clean, do laundry, eat, write blog entries, etc (and let me tell you it stresses me out that I can't get around to doing them)...but I also have a year off, surely I have time to get these things done.

Other advice I was offered:

1. The household doesn't revolve around the child, the child needs to incorporate himself into the household.
2. The child needs to be able to entertain himself.
3. I should bottle feed the breast milk at night to let my boobs replenish themselves as I am highly stressed out (I liked this bit of advice and will try this.)

So she isn't completely shocking to some of you, she did say at the end of the visit that I should do what is good for me.  Try it, if I don't like it, I can try something else. (She also told me to not worry about cleaning the house and that I should accept all forms of help...lady across the street, I hope you really meant what you said.)

Her advice shocked me a little because the Sprout is a month old and already I am being told to give him independence.  I recognize that what she was really telling me was that it was ok to "put the baby down so no one gets hurt."

Now the thankful anyway part.

I can't be too critical of the health visitor, she is giving me advice that has been approved by the NHS.  She can't give me some new age parental techniques because if something bad happens, the NHS is responsible.

Most of all, I can't complain that I have a lady that will come to my house every week, if I need her to (I can see how this would be considered communist), for the next 5 years to give me parenting advice and to make sure I am "ok in myself."  I know that in the US, no one comes to your house and if you don't have family around, you are left flailing your arms about like you were hailing a plane.  You would also have to pay for any service to help you cope with this new found responsibility.  Here you don't.

So though it is a little annoying that I am fed this prescribed advice about how the government thinks I should raise a productive member of society, I am thankful anyway that I have someone whose job it is to come into my home and make sure I am not going crazy and to answer all my silly parenting questions at no cost to me.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

The past couple of months have been so stressful in the financial area of my life (like most people's). Wednesday finally solved everything! I got my Maternity Allowance go ahead! I was so excited! I will be receiving the same amount as I was when I was working. Finally, we will have the money that we have been missing since the end of June (because I got sick pay all Summer, which amounts to half pay, and I haven't gotten anything for the past month and a half because my managers at work are incompetent). I was also told that I will be finally getting my holiday pay on Friday (after I had to do my manager's job and harass people myself).

I just can't believe everything finally worked out. Even if my holiday pay is screwed up again this week (and I am assuming it will until I see the money in my bank), I have the go ahead on my Maternity Allowance.

To recap my Thankful Anyway:

The last couple of months have been really crap, not knowing where my paycheck was, how much it would be for or if I would be getting any pay at all. I have had to fight with my managers and do their jobs for them.  I have had to be mean to my husband because I wanted to make sure we could pay our bills.

But I am Thankful Anyway because...

It all paid off in the end! Now I know where my pay is coming from and I can accurately assess our finances again. We are going to be back to where we were when I was working (which although is still fraught with debt, we were able to pay our bills and our debts on time without borrowing from anyone). We can also start buying the little things we need to get ready for the Sprout, which is of great comfort to me.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

It is that time of year again when everyone asks the question..."should I turn on the heat?"  It is a hard question to answer.  If you were lucky enough to bask in the heat of the sun this Summer, you may feel the need to turn on your heat before the rest of us.  If you are like me, where the Summer produced limited days over 72 F (22 C), then you may be able to hold off a little longer.

For the past 3 years, I have barely been able to keep my house above 56 F (14 C), even letting it get down to 53 F (12 C) on more than a few occasions, and yet last year we were still left with a £350 bill for Dec-Feb that we just finished paying off.  This time when we moved we decided to sign up for direct debit so we pay a fixed rate every month for our gas/electricity (that is until we start using more and then the direct debit goes up).  Luckily Britain has an open market when it comes to gas/electricity suppliers, so you are allowed to shop around and change suppliers at will.

With the Spout due to make an appearance at the end of November we have some time to go without turning on the heat, however, the recent problem with the cellar has left us to un-needingly turn on the heat to dry out the room.  Because I feel it is such a waste, I think we are just going to lie and tell the property people that we tried having the heat on for a few days and it didn't work and therefore we need a to borrow a dehumidifier.  Honestly, I don't see how blasting the heat in a drafty cellar improves the dampness, especially when you live in a wet climate.  We also have to keep the window open in order for the moisture to escape, it just doesn't make sense. NB: We learned that the landlord DID know about the cellar because there was a burst water pipe not to long ago and that is why the cellar was damp...Thanks a lot!

Because of the tightness of our budget, I did look into what a baby needs the temperature to be in the house.  I was happy to find that we should have the house between 65 F (18 C) and 70 F(21 C), which isn't too bad. I also read the wisdom of others and they suggested that if you are too cold, so is the baby.  Also, we have received so many beautiful knitted sweaters from Richard's Nan, that the Sprout has no chance of going cold this Winter.

So to sum up my Thankful Anyway post...

Yes, it sucks to have to pay for heat.  Heating a house in incredibly expensive, almost unfair.  However I am thankful anyway because I am looking forward to having a reason to turn on the heat.  Being cold is miserable and adds to my S.A.D.  I enjoy wearing my woolly sweaters and green, fleece "pickle suit,"  but being afraid to turn the heat on when even the silk PJs don't keep me warm makes Winter long and depressing (and after all I actually kinda like Winter, not February though...I HATE February).

Thankful Anyway Thursday and the beginning of the halloween movie-thon

It's easy to be thankful for the good stuff, can you be thankful for the not so good?
(as serious or light-hearted as you like)
Finally October 1st!  Now I can begin my horror movie-thon...it has been so hard to wait and I haven't even decided on what to watch first.
I don't really have anything to say that doesn't involve the typical whine about how much my body hates me and how I am thankful anyway because of the Sprout...  I am a little tired of  using the Sprout as my positive focus when I hurt and feel it becomes the politically correct thing to say.  So this week I am not saying it (although I just kinda did).
I am interested in the fact that I didn't receive any comments on my gay marriage opinion piece.  Very interesting...either no one agrees, everyone agrees or I have more people not talking to me than I thought...or it could be that the issue is worn out (kinda like healthcare...although I don't think either issue could EVER be warn out).
This last weekend Richard had to move all of our storage from the cellar to the living room because it all began to mold.  Richard said he found black, white, grey, orange and yellow mold.  Fun times.  
I guess I can say I am thankful that I have a husband that could take care of all that because I wouldn't have been able to bring the boxes upstairs and I shouldn't be inhaling that stuff (neither should he, but he has a strong immune system).  What bit I did breathe in made me want to vomit it was so strong.  I have had the doors open for 4 days now, luckily it hasn't been too cold.  Now we will just have to see how long it takes for us to contact the property people to tell them about it (this link is good for people who rent in Washington State).  You'd think it was something they would want to know, but property management people are a strange breed.

Here are some things I am thankful for (not thankful anyway) this week:
Scented Candles...thank you Ms. Molly for the reminder that candles smell good.
People who said they are sending me packages
Richard's paycheck and job
LolCats
Halloween
Zucchini Bread
Peep Show (a really funny British TV series)

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Ahhh...up at 6 am to see that it is STILL DARK!!!
Let's see...I don't have anything specific because the weeks are going by so fast I don't know what to do with myself.  
The pregnancy:2 months to go!  You heard right! 2 months. 

• I am tired all the time.
• My back and pelvis ache.
• I can't bend over, roll over, stand up or sit down without sounding like an old man (uhhh...ooohhh...grunt!)
• I have to lie when I go to buy vitamins or anything from a drug store, saying what I am buying is for someone else.  Can you believe that?  I can't buy any vitamins at the vitamin store unless they are specifically for pregnant ladies (so different from the US).
• The sides of my stomach feel like they are being stretched by a taffy machine (and are beginning to look like it too).
• I am tired of being kicked from the inside and having the hiccups that aren't my own that last for a half an hour or more.

Thankful anyway:Only 2 months left!  I should be happy that I am being kicked from the inside and not the outside, and if I had the hiccups for a half an hour I would kill myself, so better him and me.
Work and money:Oh work and money...what would I do without you to frusterate my life so?  Since I have been out of work, we had a manager change.  In this manager change, things got really screwed up because my previous manager decided not to fill the new manager in on my situation (or anyone else's for that matter).  He didn't tell her that I had pre-approved holiday that I was supposed to receive before my maternity leave started.  So, the new manager never put it in, and when I was switched over to maternity leave, I was not allowed the pay that the new manager put in to make up for my holiday.So after a small sit in at work the other day...I finally called corporate and dealt with the problem myself and HOPEFULLY it will be all sorted soon.  I have been without pay for 3 weeks now leaving Richard and I completely broke and stressed out.I am totally confused at why I always have to do t he manger's job.
Thankful Anyway:It gave me something to do and cry about.  I was proud of myself for calling corporate myself and dealing with the problem.  I think I could do the manager's job, something for me to think about when I have to return to work.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Short and sweet:
Dark by 8 pm?...come on!!Thankful anyway because Fall is a good season, I actually really like it (except for the dark) and I have a Daylight light to keep my mood up.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

I am going to move on from my last post but it has actually evolved into my Thankful Anyway post. I feel that people may have gotten me wrong, mostly due to the fact that I just wrote how I felt, didn't take the time to lay it out so that the tone of the post could be recieved by people reading and not talking to me. I am also not sure if anyone actually read the blog in question and I didn't elaborate on the points that perked up my ears about over protectiveness. Yes if you live on a busy street it is best that your children not play in it, and yes if you have a litter box you should block it off from your kid so they don't eat the lovely cruncy clay. Those were not the issues I was concerning myself with as they are common sense...anyway...I am washing my hands of it.
I have had this site for a year now...Whoopee! And in true Bullajabbar fashion, I have to change the name of the blog.  I don't know why, but I did.  I think this name fits it better.  I can't believe that I have been able to write about nonsence at an average of 6 times a month for the past year, that is pretty darn good. On average, one of my good blog posts takes at least 2 hours to write and edit. If it is insiteful, has lots of links and I don't have to put a disclaimer at the top it probably took me 3 or so hours to write. That is a lot of time invested for me to throw my ideas or "what I did todays" out there for people to read if they want.
Whenever I write like the one the other day, which I only took about 15 minutes to write, I almost always regret publishing it. It is kinda like that letter or email you write when you're mad, but instead of doing what your mother always told you to do and sit on it overnight, you mail it anyway only to say "oh crap! why did I do that?"
I return to my book about thrift and the chapter on Emotional Thrift. The British author and columnist, India Knight believes that we emote too much and here is her paragraph on it:

Now, it may well be that you genuinely believe you are the only thing that matters- many people do, to a lesser or greater extent. But surely you can manage to keep your egomania to yourself? It isn't the most attractive of characteristics, even if it is a very human one-and, to be perfectly frank, nobody cares as much about you as you do. Going on and on about yourself, or about a thing that has happened to you, is incredibly bad manners- it only makes any conversational exchange about you and you only. It also marks you out, in my view, as a person who cannot successfully function on his or her own, and constantly needs the praise ot interest of other people in order to feel like a functioning human being. This sucks. It is amazingly tiresome to have to deal with and I wish people would desist- not just because it would make me happy, but because I genuinely think it would make them happier too.

The Thrift Book: Live Well and Spend Less by India Knight, page 266.

That little paragraph knocks most bloggers right off the Earth. For what is a blog? A blog (short for weblog) is a site where people regularly express their thoughts and opinions in a public forum for others to read and then comment... a public journal if you will. This format has also moved on to include social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace, where all anyone ever does is talk about themselves.

Do I think this makes us egomaniacs?  Not really.  Mainly because you can read the post or not.  If  I was forcing it down your throat, well then I would be on FOX News (a most despicable channel).  And personally I like listening to other people, although as most people have noticed about me, I never ask people how they are doing, mostly because I know everyone says "fine" and that isn't what I was asking.  The British seem to be very non-elaborative when greeted with "you all right?" or "how are you?"  It is always answered by "fine."  My boss has had to stop me on many occasions to say " Jess, just say fine."  Well, you asked.  This is a cultural thing that I have found and an observation British author Dave Gorman made in his book America Unchained.  He writes:

Americans clearly get irony, they just don't tend tend to use it quite as often in day-to-day conversation because, unlike us Brits, they aren't afraid to say what they actually mean and will happily discuss emotions. (pg. 16)

So what does this all have to do with Thankful Anyway Thursday?  I have often referred to how my blog helps me not feel lonely...OK, we all get that (and D is a bit tired of hearing about it), I really like writing it.  It was really fun to review my posts over the past year...I went through all of them...and I learned a couple of things:

1. I can be funny, creative, sad, insightful, and darn right wrong.
2. My writing helps work my brain.
3. I am getting better at spelling, though not so good at the linear thought process, as my professors always critiqued.  I need to except the fact that I am creative and not so focused.  Just ask Ellie about my Maths skills.
4. I can sometimes make the uninteresting, interesting.
5. And I don't take criticism very well and need to work on tone in my writing.

These are the things I am thankful for.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

I can't believe it is Thursday already (payday tomorrow!). I don't really have an entry, because the only things I can think of are not that important and I don't know if anyone really wants to hear about them. But I guess because I have committed myself to try this weekly thing I will give it a go and for once won't be offended that no one comments or even reads. If I keep drawing a blank on the Thankful Anyway Thursdays, I may make a Miki Moo Monday, because I am sure I could write about my cat forever. I suppose I could do both.
Something that is fresh in my mind is that I was weighed for the first time since the beginning of June. Here in the UK, they don't seem so concerned with the weight during pregnancy issue as I have been told they are in the States. Babycentre.co.uk says this is because, in the eyes of the National Health Service (if you go to babycenter.com, you will get a different answer) mothers-to-be have enough worries and the last thing they need to be concerned with is the inevitability that you are going to gain weight (stuff I myself have mentioned in the past). What I find really cool about this site is that they have a tracker that allows you to see what you're to expect to put on according to your weight and height. This is what mine says:
You will probably gain 15 lbs - 25 lbs during your pregnancy. If you gained the average of the range above, this is where the weight would go (totals are rounded):


You:
Uterus 1.3 lbs
Breasts 0.6 lbs
Blood 1.7 lbs
Water 2.3 lbs
Fat 4.6 lbs
Subtotal 10.5 lbs
Your baby:
Fetus 7.5 lbs
Placenta 0.9 lbs
Amniotic Fluid 1.1 lbs
Subtotal 9.5 lbs
Total 20 lbs
(I had to do some code to get that to work, yea me!)

"So, how much has she gained in the past 2 1/2 months?" you maybe asking yourself. I will indulge your curiosity...20 lbs. So, I have reached my limit of "normal" weight gain and still have 3 months of tremendous growth to go. But fear not...I have tried to never rely on the scale but by the way my clothes fit. Truthfully, I still fit into my clothes. True, I wear my pants unbuttoned because of my tummy. But my thighs still fit and my butt still fits. I can wear my shirts comfortably, even though I have this round front. True I wear a lot of skirts and sweat pants, but I am still wearing my normal underwear. So, all I have to do it a little exercise to keep random weight off and I will be fine. I also figure that it is a good sign that I don't wince every time I see myself naked in our tiny mirror. I will get another picture for you all eventually.
I am thankful that even though I was finally weighed, I don't care...a big change from 2 Thankful Anyway Thursdays ago.
Has anyone even seen my new layout on my page? I love it and think you should check it out by clicking on the link to my blog instead of just looking at the boring email you all get. You can also comment on the blog...it no longer requires you to sign up or have a password (and hasn't for a really long time). The thing is, I am planning on making a book out of all the posts and emails about my pregnancy eventually as a sort of journal thing. In my mind it is gonna be cool, I don't actually know how it is gong to work out.

Happy Thursday!

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Wow, it is Thursday all ready. Having a day where you know you have to post something is a little stressful, I don't know how Ms. Molly has managed for the past year or so.

What has annoyed me this week?...

There are a couple of things but only one that fits into the category of this post and that is the issue of being far away from my family and friends who I know can help me get through the rest of my pregnancy (I have reached 25 weeks!). I have reached the stage where I am beginning to have some questions. Books and websites can only give you a guide. I really don't want to attend a antenatal class...I just don't (and Richard isn't too keen on it either). My mid-wife made me feel a little bad for not being up for it, I just feel that it would be a waste of time. I already know things are going to be different when the baby comes. Maybe I am being silly, and one thing my midwife did mention is that maybe it will get me to meet and befriend some new mommies in my area. Good argument...but I have many other excuses in my head to work around this argument, such as transport to get to these sessions...anyway...

The good thing that comes out of this is another argument for Facebook. In February I wrote about how Facebook helped me to feel connected to my cousins and friends when I was lonely. I have been able to post my blogs on Facebook so my cousins and friends can read them, and I have easy email access to them individually. I have found that people are so excited to give advice, and I really do appreciate it.

My new experiences in the "blog-o-sphere" have been good too. I have enjoyed finding and reading some really good blogs by people who are new to the whole mommy thing as well (I have some of their links in the side bar if anyone is interested).

So to recap...

I have been a bit upset that I don't have full access to my support system physically, however, I am thankful anyway because I have been able to find another way to access my support system that doesn't involve outrageous phone bills and plane tickets.

Question...

Do you recommend that I do the classes? Did they help you?

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Recently I have branched out and begun reading other people's (namely new moms who are the archaeologist/anthropologist types) blogs. I have really enjoyed them and branched out even further to end up reading a couple of good blogs about living simply and ecologically. One blog I started following, Holistic Mama, has a section called Thankful Anyway Thursdays, and I thought I would give it a go.

I am supposed to pick some things that annoyed me during the week and then reflect on why I should be thankful for these annoyances. Those who know me will wonder "how will she ever fit all the things that annoy her into one blog? Everything annoys her." And all I have to say is...that is one of the purposes of blogging.

Here it goes... The annoyances:

This week there were a couple of things 1) It has been a month and a half since I have been on Sick Leave stuck in the house and 2) the realization of how frecking huge I have gotten.

Being at home all day is boring and lonely. I have reached the end of my rope doing house work and watching the kitty soap opera that takes place in the backyard. Having no money really puts a chain on going places and honestly I have been really self conscious about my belly (more on that below). What is really happening is that my already lazy personality is getting worse and that leads to issue number 2.

I have reached the stage in my pregnancy where I am beginning to grow quickly. Right now at 24 weeks, the Sprout is 12 inches long! I don't know how that is even possible. But what makes it hard is that I started out with fat on my stomach and stretch marks...basically a real person. All the books and magazines make it look like you will have this cute, round perfect bump, when really it is saggy and oval. I feel front heavy, and all around uncomfortable (all the women who have already had babies are rolling their eyes). For the most part I hate going out by myself, just too self conscious, and I really need to stop being this way. For awhile I was doing a good job, doing yoga every other day and going for a walk. But then it began to rain, and rain and rain (excuses, excuses). I stopped going on walks. Then I just got lazy about the yoga. I don't even know where the day goes. I get up at 7am, and it just flies by.

So how am I thankful for these annoying things (this is the hard part)?...

First off, the pregnancy hormones have calmed my depression. So although I feel lonely and self conscious, I am not depressed about it, just annoyed.

The first step is realization and admitting I need to do something to change my habits. The hard part is changing those habits. The story of my life (and most other's). Once I get going I can do it, but the starting is the hard part. I actually did 2 things in the past 2 weeks which I had been meaning to do for over 2 years and just never did...and though they have nothing to do with body image or boredom, it was a big step and actually has everything to do with procrastination (something I excel at).

1. I got my provisional driver's license. Now I can officially learn to drive a car in the UK and get the full license. I still need a couple of lessons, but baby steps are important.

2. I ordered a new bed. It took all the money I would have used for a plane ticket home, but it is going to be worth it. When Richard and I got our own place (Feb 2007), we got a cheap IKEA mattress...it lasted about 3 months before it became totally uncomfortable. I put boards under it and it still didn't help. About a year ago we got a new couch and for the past 6 month Richard and I would rather sleep on it than the IKEA mattress. We ended up putting an air mattress on top of the IKEA mattress. Given, it is more comfortable, but I am 31!! and pregnant...I need a real bed! This is a testament at how lazy WE are. We couldn't even get the one item that is essential in our home, a good mattress.

I add the mattress and license stories in this section because I am so proud that I did it. They were something that I had procrastinated about for so long (years!!) and I finally did it and it feels good.

I am thankful that I do have the will to change things, it just takes the realization and admittance to do so...and I guess that is what Thankful Anyway Thursdays are for.

PHEW!!!