Thankful Anyway Thursday

Recently I have branched out and begun reading other people's (namely new moms who are the archaeologist/anthropologist types) blogs. I have really enjoyed them and branched out even further to end up reading a couple of good blogs about living simply and ecologically. One blog I started following, Holistic Mama, has a section called Thankful Anyway Thursdays, and I thought I would give it a go.

I am supposed to pick some things that annoyed me during the week and then reflect on why I should be thankful for these annoyances. Those who know me will wonder "how will she ever fit all the things that annoy her into one blog? Everything annoys her." And all I have to say is...that is one of the purposes of blogging.

Here it goes... The annoyances:

This week there were a couple of things 1) It has been a month and a half since I have been on Sick Leave stuck in the house and 2) the realization of how frecking huge I have gotten.

Being at home all day is boring and lonely. I have reached the end of my rope doing house work and watching the kitty soap opera that takes place in the backyard. Having no money really puts a chain on going places and honestly I have been really self conscious about my belly (more on that below). What is really happening is that my already lazy personality is getting worse and that leads to issue number 2.

I have reached the stage in my pregnancy where I am beginning to grow quickly. Right now at 24 weeks, the Sprout is 12 inches long! I don't know how that is even possible. But what makes it hard is that I started out with fat on my stomach and stretch marks...basically a real person. All the books and magazines make it look like you will have this cute, round perfect bump, when really it is saggy and oval. I feel front heavy, and all around uncomfortable (all the women who have already had babies are rolling their eyes). For the most part I hate going out by myself, just too self conscious, and I really need to stop being this way. For awhile I was doing a good job, doing yoga every other day and going for a walk. But then it began to rain, and rain and rain (excuses, excuses). I stopped going on walks. Then I just got lazy about the yoga. I don't even know where the day goes. I get up at 7am, and it just flies by.

So how am I thankful for these annoying things (this is the hard part)?...

First off, the pregnancy hormones have calmed my depression. So although I feel lonely and self conscious, I am not depressed about it, just annoyed.

The first step is realization and admitting I need to do something to change my habits. The hard part is changing those habits. The story of my life (and most other's). Once I get going I can do it, but the starting is the hard part. I actually did 2 things in the past 2 weeks which I had been meaning to do for over 2 years and just never did...and though they have nothing to do with body image or boredom, it was a big step and actually has everything to do with procrastination (something I excel at).

1. I got my provisional driver's license. Now I can officially learn to drive a car in the UK and get the full license. I still need a couple of lessons, but baby steps are important.

2. I ordered a new bed. It took all the money I would have used for a plane ticket home, but it is going to be worth it. When Richard and I got our own place (Feb 2007), we got a cheap IKEA mattress...it lasted about 3 months before it became totally uncomfortable. I put boards under it and it still didn't help. About a year ago we got a new couch and for the past 6 month Richard and I would rather sleep on it than the IKEA mattress. We ended up putting an air mattress on top of the IKEA mattress. Given, it is more comfortable, but I am 31!! and pregnant...I need a real bed! This is a testament at how lazy WE are. We couldn't even get the one item that is essential in our home, a good mattress.

I add the mattress and license stories in this section because I am so proud that I did it. They were something that I had procrastinated about for so long (years!!) and I finally did it and it feels good.

I am thankful that I do have the will to change things, it just takes the realization and admittance to do so...and I guess that is what Thankful Anyway Thursdays are for.

PHEW!!!