Read a book

The last thing I do before turning out the lights is read.  I love reading in bed, however, I don't usually get very far.  I tend to either start nodding off or my vision blurs the words in and out (I have increased the font size on my Kindle).  It's too bad that my falling asleep whilst reading doesn't transfer to falling asleep when I am not reading.  Kind of like when I fall asleep on the couch; if I get up to go to bed, I won't fall asleep.

I love being alone.  Especially when it comes to doing stuff.  I can only shop alone.  Being with other people when shopping drives me crazy, I feel like I am taking too long or in the way.

I love road tripping alone or travelling alone in general.  My favourite road trip ever was in October 2004 when I drove around the 4 corners on my own.  I decided that I needed to take a huge detour in celebration of me leaving the Forest Service.  It was over 1,500 miles of driving on my own and I took a week to do it.  I was super sick with the flu so I had to stay in hotels instead of camp sites, but it was the best thing ever.  I didn't care when I got lost.  I got to choose what I wanted to do and stay, or not for that matter.  It only got a bit lonely at night at the hotel, but I suppose if you are a drinking kinda person, you could always hit the bar.  My car was a champ!  The only thing that broke was the cassett radio I had.  I immediately got the CD player I always wanted.

I went to Arches National Park, Mesa Verde, Chaco Canyon and the Grand Canyon.  I drove through the Painted Desert and did a little driving on Route 66, 666 and the Extra Terrestrial Highway (didn't see any UFOs).

 I met up with my Brother in Las Vegas and we drove together back to my place in Bishop, CA, grabbed my things and drove another 1000 miles because we took 101 after Corvallis, OR to Quilcene, WA and then to Gig Harbor, WA.

The whole trip was just over 3,000 miles.  Good thing that was back when gas was "cheap".


View Larger Map

That same year, I took a weekend trip to Las Vegas alone, and it was the best thing ever!

I miss being alone.  You don't get much time to yourself with kids.  I always loved that Cosby Show episode where it is the first day of school and all the kids are gone and Mr. and Mrs Huxtable do a dance and are so excited that the house is empty.  I assume I will feel the same when the Sprout starts school.

Traumatized

Oh man, I could go on and on, but I will write about something that has dissapointed me.


I have always liked learning. I have never been that great at school, but I got by. I completed High School because I wanted to go to college.  I went to college for a total of 10 years, starting in 1995 as a junior in High School.  I attended Tacoma Community College, got an AA degree in 1997 (the same year I graduated High School) and also almost completed a Criminal Justice AA as extra between 1998-1999 and 2002-2003.  I attended the University of Alaska Fairbanks in 1999, but moved to Central Washington University in 2000.  I graduated CWU in 2002 with a BA in Anthropology.  I actually took some time off, but took some classes as personal enrichment during 2003-2004.  I finally went to the University of Bradford in the UK in 2005 and got a Post-Graduate Diploma in Human Osteology and Paleopathology in 2007.  That's where it all ended, and now I am $40,000 in debt and working at a coffee shop.

Getting my PGD ruined my want to attend any more schooling. I never want to go to University again.  It was the hardest, most stressful and most depressing thing I have ever done.  I loved what I learned, and it was nice to be pushed  hard and I felt I was doing something important, not to mention I was getting to do something I loved.  The time I had after school hours was amazing.  I met my husband and my best friend at Bradford and I even still live there.  But the experience was enough for a life time and completely traumatized and ruined further education for me.  (I guess it didn't help that my grandmother died during that time).

I have had a little one for 2 years and we are still trying to figure out how we are supposed to balance husband/wife time with parent time.  Luckily, we both have the kind of jobs where there isn't much to bring home except all the stress that has formed through out the day, and the physical exhaustion that comes with it.  

The Sprout is a huge job.  At 2 he wants 100% of my attention 200% of the time, and when he goes to bed, I want to go to bed.  I think Richard and I spend about 2 hours alone together each day and then I go to bed.  Those 2 hours are usually filled with watching TV or browsing the internet or maybe I actually do some sewing.  The last time Richard and I spent REAL time together was in June when we drove to the Washington Coast for the day while my dad looked after the Sprout.

I am stuck in marathon mode.  As soon as the Sprout hits the pillow, I am off doing all the house work I can before he wakes up.  At night it is the same, only I feel that if I don't get to sleep then I won't be sleeping.  Not only am I not paying attention to Richard, but I give no time to myself.

However, yesterday we went into Bradford to go to the book store (Waterstone's) to get the Sprout some books with his birthday money.  The Sprout has little experience in stores because I get everything on-line.  He was everywhere, which I knew he would be.  It was such a good idea to have Richard and me go together.  Richard went after the Sprout whist I looked for books (we ended up with Fox's Socks, Rabbit's Nap, and The Odd Egg).  Then we went up to my old work (Kirkgate Costa).  We got to see Santa's reindeer!  Then we went back to Shipley to have Sunday Dinner.  The Sprout was really good (although all over the place).  No real tantrums.  It was so nice to do something as a family.

Pen or computer

What do I prefer when I write, a pen or a computer?

It all depends really.  I used to like to write with a pen, and I do keep a journal with blank pages in my bag that I jot down silly ideas for my blog and paste pictures in.

I use the computer to write my blog.  The ideas that I outline in my journal rarely make it to the computer.  I don't like transcribing my ideas.  I like it all to be organic.  I did enough note taking in school for research papers, I never want to do that again.  Transcribing ideas ends in censorship anyway.

I am almost reluctant and fearful of the pen.  I kept a diary from the time I was 10 years old until I was about 20, and they hold scary things.  If I feel I need to write real thoughts out on paper, I nearly always throw it away (I used to burn it).  I don't really know why.  I guess I see the pen as more personal (more permanent) than the computer.  When I write with the pen, there is no editing or thought process.  I just let it flow out, most of the time it is unreadable; a total free write.

When I use the computer, I use more thought, worry about sentence structure and spelling.  There is allot of editing and rewording.  Blogging is quite difficult because you have to put your tone of voice in the writing, and let's face it, it doesn't always go over well.  It also takes one click of the mouse and your words are deleted forever, and I always assume someone else is going to look at whatever I have on the computer.

So my answer is that I use both, but they are for totally different reasons.

Music and Lyrics

Can I listen to music and write?  What song did I hear today?

Here is the kind of question I don't like to blog about because it is silly and doesn't require a long answer.  Yes I can listen to music and write. Most of the time I am watching TV and writing.

The only songs I hear now a days are songs from Babytv, CBBies and commercials (the Halifax ones are driving me crazy and I always get the Timmy Time song in my head).  The only time I listen to real music is when I am walking to work, and while I am at work.

 I want to listen to more music at home because the Sprout has taken an interest in dancing and he dances to everything.  One reason I haven't been listening to music at home is because UK radio stations drive me mad (mostly because I hate this new pop and dance music).  They don't have stations dedicated to one kind of music (except classical), so you have to listen to ALL music over and over again.  The other reason is because I don't really consider my music to be appropriate for a little one.  I have a couple of things I don't mind trying out such as Jamiroquai, The Beatles and disco type music (I suppose some Scissor Sisters would be ok, as long as he doesn't listen to the lyrics) You know things that are light hearted and fun to dance to (totally opposite to the majority of music I listen to).

What kind of music do you think is appropriate for a toddler (please don't say nursery music because that is a given)?

Last meal

What would my last meal be?

I don't know.  There are many things I like to eat, most of which I don't get to have here and so things like Taco Del Mar and Pho from the 36 Ave Pho place come to mind.

I think what I would want as my last meal though is a nice thick cut, juicy steak with a baked potato and salad with blue cheese dressing.  For dessert I would have to have my mom's F**king chocolate cake in a bowl with milk.

Yummmmmmmmmmmm

Add, subtract and delete

I thought I would pick up some NaBloPoMo (the daily writing prompts).  I have been really bad about writing, I haven't even written about the Sprout's birthday, but there wasn't really that much to say.  At the moment I would do a better job at posting Wordless Wednesdays (where you just post a picture that sums up what's happening instead of writing an essay. I might do that).  Honestly, I just don't have a need to be on the internet.  It sucks my life away.  However, if I am doing something like writing, it isn't necessarily a waste of time.

What is your favourite part about writing?

I enjoy writing because I get to project my inside voices outwards.  Have you ever noticed that sometimes the only way to get those thoughts to go away (good or bad) is to write them down?  I have a major case of that.  In most cases saying those thoughts just makes them worse.  When I write them down, I can add, subtract and delete.  When I write down a thought I may find the true meaning of the thought.  It may be more important than I thought, or it may be something I need to let go.  The thought becomes naked and real.

That is why I enjoy writing.

What is the best thing that can happen?

What's the best thing that could happen to you right now, and if it did, what's the first song you'd turn up loud and start dancing to?

The best thing that could happen to me right now is getting a new job (or have my student loans mysteriously disappear, just a minute while I wait for this spider to stop crawling over my head).

I start work next Tuesday and although I am a little excited for it simply because it is something different, I hate working for a multinational corporation.  It wouldn't be so bad I suppose if I wasn't a the bottom of the food chain.  I have been trying to see the plus side of working for Costa Coffee for a while now and I have come to the conclusion that I need to look at it from the customer's side.  When I tell people I work at Costa, most people say "I love Costa."  It is kind of the same thing as Starbucks and in most cases people will say that they prefer Costa over Starbucks.  My favourite thing though is when I am working and a customer gets upset and they try to use going to Starbucks as a threat...that is really funny to me.

I have not been to work in over a year, and since then the store has become a completely different place.  Only one girl is still working there that I know.  We have a new manager (whome I have worked with for a short time before at another store).  Our earnings have doubled since we have had this manager.  The store looks great!!!  We have two times the amount of staff.  The best thing of all...we are the only store in Yorkshire to have a security camera!!!  I was so excited to see this, it was something I had been asking for for a while.

Luckily I am on a super low key schedule...Tuesday and Fridays 8 am- 1 pm and an 8 hour shift on a Saturday or Sunday.  It makes childcare cheaper if we do it this way.  Another shift or even another weekday shift and the price of childcare out weighs what I make.

Good morning

What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

I have a routine now.  The Sprout wakes me up between 5:30am and 6:00am (this is what I get for putting him to bed at 7:30pm), of course.  I feed him and then try to get him to play with something so maybe I can sleep a little longer.  Most of the time he just starts pinching and pulling me in places and makes loud noises.  

I get out of bed, go to the bathroom, take my medicine, get dressed and pull the Sprout from the bed.

We go downstairs and I place him on the changing table.  As I unzip his sleeping bag I yell "It's a baby!!!  Hello baby!!", like I am unwrapping a package and am so surprised to see what's inside.  He laughs.  I change him and then put him on the floor to play.

I stagger into the kitchen, make coffee and some kind of breakfast.  Usually Muesli and yogurt.  Then I see how much I can get done on the computer.  Or if I don't feel like the computer, I just sit with him on the floor.

Random things

What's your most important personal goal for the next year of your life?

Getting my UK driving license and get the Permanent Leave to Remain Visa.

We are all sick with this Summer bug going around.  The Sprout has a constant flow of snot rolling down his nose and developed a cough last night, but he is still pretty happy, though he gets cranky and tired more often.

We went swimming last Thursday at the Community Pool.  We had a good time, but we don't have any pictures because we weren't allowed to.  The Sprout liked splashing about, but didn't like the inter-tube our friend brought.  I think I will get him some floater wings.

The Sprout has outgrown his infant 0+ car seat, he is too long.  I knew I should have pinched the one from my parent's.  It happened so fast.  Luckily there are some cheap ones that we can get until we get a nice one, or see if I can get the one from my parent's.

Dreading

What's the one thing you always dread?

I am not quite sure how to answer this but I figured I should give it a try.

I have never thought of having an extreme fear.  I have irrational phobias that come from personal insecurities.  I have the normal fear of being brutally murdered or even worse, raped; that scientists will be right and in 20 years all of our ice caps will be gone and the Polar Bears will be extinct.  Now that I have a baby, I have fears that involve him being kidnapped and whatnot.  But I do not loose sleep over these things.

I do loose sleep over bills and my job.  I hate the thought of not being able to return to archaeology.  I loose sleep over self pity about my back and how I need to be more active.  But these are not dreads.

Most fears, I realize, I have no control over or I have complete control over, so I don't let them control my life.  So all dreads must be irrational for me.

I dread that  zombies will rise and take over the world.  Not the slow stupid zombies, but the fast zombies that learn as they go.  We live right next to a cemetery, so we are in a pretty bad location if this were to happen.  Just think of it, having to run from super fast, smart zombies...I guess I should start going to the gym.

Favourite place

What's your favorite place in the whole world?

I tried to think of one place, but I couldn't think of just one.  

• My mom's house is one of my favourite places probably because I grew up there so there is a huge sense of security when I am there.  On top of that the property is so beautiful and peaceful.  

mom's house

• My Dad's house is another of my favourite places.  He also lives on a beautiful piece of property that is surrounded by national forest.  I love the seclusion and quietness.  The river is another part of the property that brings a peaceful, magical quality to it.  

A piece of the view at my dad's house

• The Sandpiper Beach Resort in Pacific Beach, Washington is another of my favourite places.  The hotel is run down, but the beach is really wonderful.  This is another place that holds many memories because my family always went here on vacation.

View from the room

As I go back and forth between my parent's houses and mine as an adult I realize how calming their houses make me and how safe I feel when I am there .  I can pretend that I don't have any worries back at home.  They provide a big warm blanket over me.

• At home, my favourite place is in bed with the Sprout and Richard.  Richard doesn't get to bed much any more primarily because he snores, but he also just seems to fall asleep in the living room.

• My favourite place that doesn't include family is to be is in my car driving around the West on my own.  California, Nevada and Arizona are my favourite places to drive and camp.  My favourite campground is the Lone Pine campground in...Lone Pine.  It is located by a small stream in the Alabama Hills on the way to Mount Whitney.

My view of the Sierra's outside my tent

In the not to distant future, Richard and I are going to have to start thinking about British family vacations for the Sprout.  We need to figure out a location that will be special for just the three of us.  Another reason why I need my UK driving license.

Rhubarb vehicle

Everybody needs a pat on the back now and then. Thank yourself for something you're proud of having done recently, and then tell us about it.

I finally registered to take my Driver Theory Test!.  That is a big thing for me and something I have been dragging my feet on.  When I have the funds (which is a whole can of worms involving work and a completely different blog all together) I will register to do my driving lessons.

I made a rhubarb syrup the other day....yummmm.  All it was was 8 oz of Rhubarb, 3/4 cup of sugar and 3/4 cups of water boiled down for 20 min.  I made it to put on vanilla ice cream, yummmm.  Then I used it to make a cocktail.  I had vodka, rhubarb, and club soda...yummmm.  Then I used it to make an Italian soda...yummmm.  I was able to use the rhubarb mush to make an apple, rhubarb crumble....double yummmmm.

In five years

What do you want your life to be like in five years?

I am going to try to be realistic instead of going the route of  "in a perfect world".

• Realistically we will probably have another kid...everyone don't gasp at once, you may suck all the oxygen from the Earth.
• We will be living in the United States.  I would rather my kids get an education in the States than England.  I am not sure where I want to live in the States.  If Richard can transfer within the company he works for now, we would most likely end up in Florida, but they have a small satellite office in El Segundo, California.  I personally, want to be in California because I am able to get archaeology jobs and would be closer to home when I am on a job.  California is also closer to Gig Harbor (it would take around 18 hours up I-5  and 1,120 miles to get there but it is closer than Florida which would take 2days and 3,314 miles).
• I will be working full time for the Forest Service or for a private cultural resource management firm, but a government job is preferable. 

It is kind of weird how hard it  is to think about five years from now.  I have been in England for almost five years and it has gone by so quickly.  Although allot has happened, it still feels like I have been standing still.  To think that we will move to the States seems like a far cry from what actually will happen and  makes me realize how lazy and scared I really am.   Why haven't we already moved to the States when I miss it so much?  I seem to be able to come up with many reasons, or more like small excuses.  In reality it is because I am scared to make the move.  The amount of work that would go into it seems scary.  One of the biggest reasons I turn to is that Richard has a job here and for him to loose that job and start over in the States seems huge.  I don't quite know why I can't use one of my Summer jobs as a reason to move even though it would be a temp job?  Something I should think about.

Saving face

If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be? Or would you change anything at all?

I took this to mean my face, only because most people would want to be thinner or something along those lines.  I would like to have smaller breasts, nursing doesn't help that at all.

I honestly can say I wouldn't change anything about my face (except maybe to have the mole removed that is on my temple, it is pretty huge).  I seem to look under 25 eventhough I am 32, so why would I change that?  I like my nose, it has a cute little mole on it and though when I get to see a side view, it is a little larger that I expect, I still like it.  I like the shape of my eyes (I have really long lashes) and mouth (a perfect heart shape) and I think my forehead is just the right length.  So really, I would change nothing, not even my ears.  In fact I like the way I look so much that I hardly ever wear make-up.

So I would like to take this opportunity to thank the "science of genes" (have you seen that oil of oly commercial?  I mean come on, the "science of genes"?), and my parents for creating such a face.

A movie unseen

Name one famous movie you've never seen. Why not?

I have  never seen "Titanic".  At first I didn't see it because everyone else had seen it and made such a big deal about it.  Now I just don't really care.

I have also never seen the whole of "Goonies".  I don't know why, I just haven't.

Money

What's one thing you think it's worth spending money on? What's one thing you always cheap out on?

I had to look around the house for this one because it seems I cheap out on everything.  I want to start buying real stuff, like real furniture, not IKEA furniture, but real furniture.  I would love to go to an antiques auction and get furniture that has been loved, that is real wood and has been constructed by someone other than me.  I love ebay, the amount of really good stuff you can buy for super cheap is amazing (once you learn to snipe, bidding on things is a breeze) and I have just started getting into selling my own stuff there too.

What I really cheap out on though are clothes and I usually feel guilty for it.  My mom often comments that if you buy cheap clothes you are supporting thousands of people being taken advantage of, and I know that.  I took a year of globalization classes.  The funny thing about this is that I wear clothes (weight permitting) for 5 plus years.  I even continue to wear a piece of clothing once it gets holes or a stain on it.  I have always been a fan of second hand clothes, and a funny thing about this is that when I was a teenager (yes grunge was in style) D and I used to go to Value Village sales...Value Village SALES!  How cheap can you get?

The only thing I can think of that I don't mind spending money on is a plane ticket to my parent's.  I don't even go on real holidays anymore, Richard and I still haven't been on a honeymoon and we are pretty desperate for a weekend getaway to Spain or something, but I don't mind racking up the debt on my credit card to go home to my parent's houses.

I also shell out the dough for cat food.  I buy my cat real food, the kind with real meat and no junk.

A random passage

Take a random book, open it to a random page, and then post the passage that begins at the top left. If you want to go further, tell us if the passage you posted sheds any light on your life at present.

 "...reading, YOU WASTE NAPKINS-YOU WASTE TREES!!!  The cups of course, are also made of paper, yet there's no mention of the mighty redwood when you order your four dollar coffee.  The guilt applies only to those things that are being given away for free.  Were they to charge you ten cents per napkin, they would undoubtedly make them much thinner so you'd need to waste even more in order to fight back the piping hot geyser forever spouting from the little hole conveniently located in the lid of your cup."

-Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris page 216

My favourite movie

Well, I guess I will continue on the daily blogging thing...just to annoy everyone.

My favourite movie is...

I have 3 favourite movies, but many movies that I love.

1. Fight Club

2. Zack and Miri Make a Porno

3. Babe

I have different reasons for liking each of these movies.

Fight Club is just done really well.  The book and movie are a perfect match (and oh how I love Chuck Palahuiuk), the actors are awesome and the effects are really cool.  The subject matter is right up my alley, it's a thinker.

Zach and Miri Make a Porno has to be one of the funniest movies I have ever seen and in my opinion the best Kevin Smith movie, forget Clerks and Dogma (though both awesome movies), this is the one.

And Babe...well who doesn't like an under dog story.  I used to watch this movie whenever I was feeling down and needed some courage.