Yes, I am procrastinating. I have one more assignment to do before my Kindermusik course is finished, it needs to be done by Sunday and it is the budget assignment. It will be weird to complete as I have decided not to do Kindermuik at the moment, but they have provided me a good base for setting up a business and how to run a music and movement session, which has been helpful.
Starting up Little Sprout's Music Studio has proven really difficult. I didn't think it was going to be easy, but I didn't realize how easily I take two steps back before going three steps forward.
There is so much free advertising, but the time it takes a huge amount of time to set it all up, and then, you are just one fish in a sea of millions. Facebook, Twitter, Meet Up, Linked-In, google places, etc., not to mention free websites such as Blogger and Wordpress. And then the loads of sites you can pay for like Facebook, Google Adds and local sites. I can see why people pay others to build sites and set up their social networks.
I have absolutely no money for my business and there is no way I can get a loan. At first I was using my job at Costa to supplement some of the starting costs, but then I quit (yes, I finally quit), so I have left myself rather poor.
The ups and downs of starting a business has left me quite a mess. One minute people are happy to help and talking of ways they can help and saying how great you are and then the next they don't really have the funding or have the funding but need to push you a head of what I am ready for pushing me to make decisions that I regret later. I was not ready for the roller coaster.
I am still working on getting a space to do a Little Sprout's class. I have found work with a group called Weeny Boppers at a nursery and I also do one at a children's play centre, but these are not Little Sprout's and so my business isn't getting out there. I still do the library, but again, they don't really want me advertising paid classes.
I am still pushing on, and have bought some new instruments and other items that would allow me to do a class without having to borrow anything from anyone. That feels pretty good.
Can I listen to music and write? What song did I hear today?
Here is the kind of question I don't like to blog about because it is silly and doesn't require a long answer. Yes I can listen to music and write. Most of the time I am watching TV and writing.
The only songs I hear now a days are songs from Babytv, CBBies and commercials (the Halifax ones are driving me crazy and I always get the Timmy Time song in my head). The only time I listen to real music is when I am walking to work, and while I am at work.
I want to listen to more music at home because the Sprout has taken an interest in dancing and he dances to everything. One reason I haven't been listening to music at home is because UK radio stations drive me mad (mostly because I hate this new pop and dance music). They don't have stations dedicated to one kind of music (except classical), so you have to listen to ALL music over and over again. The other reason is because I don't really consider my music to be appropriate for a little one. I have a couple of things I don't mind trying out such as Jamiroquai, The Beatles and disco type music (I suppose some Scissor Sisters would be ok, as long as he doesn't listen to the lyrics) You know things that are light hearted and fun to dance to (totally opposite to the majority of music I listen to).
What kind of music do you think is appropriate for a toddler (please don't say nursery music because that is a given)?
I have been to tons of concerts. The majority being rock concerts. I was lucky enough to be a teenager in the age of grunge and live in the Seattle area because it afforded me the opportunity to attend "all ages" venues. Many of these venues were closed down when Seattle's dominance over America's rock music ceased in the mid 90's.
My very first concert was at the Kingdome. New Kids on the Block. I remember it being loud and almost impossible to hear the music over all the screaming girls and the bad acoustics.
My next concert was Lollapalooza 1992, where I got to see Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Ice Cube and Soundgarden.
I was running through my huge list of famous bands I have gone to see and tried to decide on my top 5. This was really hard. Most of them were so long ago. So I had to trust that the concerts that first came into my head were the ones with the lasting impression, and therefore my most favourite.
In no order:
Digital Underground in a small Seattle club in 1998
The Arctic Monkeys in Manchester 2009
Sky Cries Mary with Running with Scissors at the Tacoma Rialto Theater in 1995
Hells Bells in Bellingham
Jane's Addiction at the Key Arena is Seattle 2001
I wanted to add Phish, but I thought of it too late.
I love concerts especially festivals. I love the noise and the emotion of the crowd as everyone comes together to enjoy music. E and I go to concerts on occasion, and the one thing I have learned is that you are never to old to go to a concert as long as you have seats to sit in and that they provide you a good view of the stage.
I celebrated the Sprout's 1 month birthday by going to an Arctic Monkeys concert at the MEN theatre in Manchester with Emma. It was awesome! The sold out show was great fun for people watching (to my horror 80's fashion is huge. I saw a girl sporting stirrup pants and an over sized sweatshirt with a belt, I thought the apocalypse was near. And the prediction of the end of the world at 2012 became more of a possibility to me when 3 of the boys in front of us took their shirts off), as well as enjoying the concert from assigned seats where you could actually see the stage. It was so nice to get out of the house and wear real clothes (I actually wore jeans...my big jeans, but jeans nonetheless) and not be worried about when the Sprout was going to want food and a diaper change for a couple of hours.
The Sprout has made some progress over the past month. Not only did he gain more than a pound, but is now tracking objects with his eyes and intensionally grasping for things. Last night we made some progress on the breast feeding front when he decided to actually latch onto my breast without the nipple shield, it was very exciting. He also slept most of the night except for feedings, but I don't expect this to be a habit. He also makes all kinds of noises, from pterodactyl sounds (at least what I consider a pterodactyl to sound like) to horse whinnies and grunts. Good times for all.
I recently acquired the 500 best Classic Rock songs. There are 500 songs and I know (or at least know the chorus) of all but 2 songs. This got me thinking...how many songs do I actually know? There is 498 right off the bat. Now think of all the 60's-2009 Pop, R&B, Heavy Metal, Alternative, Hard Rock and Rap I know...All the lyrical Jazz, Big Band, Blues and Classical songs I know, not to mention all the children's songs I remember from school, and the few hymns and seasonal (like Christmas) songs I know. I know full albums and discographies, songs that will never be on the top 40 or even the radio. When you start to think of it, it gets overwhelming...I must know well over 500,000 songs. It really gets you to think of the human brain, and I think is even a testament to music and how it affects the memory. Not only can you recall lyrics, but rhythm, different musical elements and the correlation to personal memories....it truly is amazing.
For those of you who are interested, I included the list of songs below.
I wanted to add the pictures of my sweater and booties I made:
yes the sweater is black, brown and grey...get over it.
I thought I would show off..but I can tell you a million things I am doing wrong in the video (besides not cleaning my room first)...however, I won't spoil it.
So it is upon us...Thanksgiving. A time to be thankful and eat a large amount of food. This year I will be hosting Thanksgiving at Emma's house. It is not a big group...only 5 of us, but none the less it is fun.
Now, I can go on and say what I am thankful for. All of the generic answers of steady job, family, health and the like, and though I do not take these things for granted and am truly thankful for them, deep down what are we truly thankful for. I have been thinking and because I have had no time for reflective thought, I came up with nothing. Sad really.
But of more importance, I finally came to terms with what I regretted. Most of you know that I have always renounced regret and could only give a list of "it's too bads". For example, it is too bad that I didn't get to it and finish my MSc. It is too bad that I got in a car accident when I was 17 (although not my fault). Stuff like that and in the long run I only have about 5.
The movie Amadeus is of great importance and inspiration to me. I used to watch it every time I went to grandmommy's house from the time I was 7. It gave me the inspiration to begin my journey with classical music. I taught myself to read and play basic piano and most importantly I was inspired to sing. The opera singers they chose for that movie have the most beautiful voices. Clean and truly magnificent.
I remember being in the children's choir at Auntie Biz's church, I remember being in the children's choir (that was shortly lived) and adult choir at Saint John's church, I remember being in the middle school choir, singing when I was a part of Job's Daughters.
I remember when I met Gene Wright. She came to my choir class when I was 12. She had each of us come into the back room so she could listen to us sing and teach us how to breathe. The rest is history. I began taking lessons from her and when I was 13 I attended my first regional singing competition (something that you weren't supposed to do until you were in high school). I got a top score singing a song in English "Who is Sylvia" (which is a surprise).
I continued to sing and every year I competed at regionals. I even attended a musical camp hosted by Evergreen State College when I was 15 and another that was hosted by Berkelee College of Music when I was 16. I began to sing with the Tacoma Master Chorale and sang in Mendelson's Elijah.
In the 2004 regional I got my first 2 (which is an absolute tragedy when you are used to getting 1 and +1). The song I picked was too hard, but I was ambitious. The next year I received a runner up at regional and this is why. When I was finished with my song "Voi che saprete" from The Marriage of Figaro written by Mozart, I was praised as a mezzo soprano. A famous opera singer told me not to sing anything else, only parts for mezzo sopranos. I was flattered. They wanted me to come back at the end of the day so I could sing again so they could decide who would go to the State Finals. For some reason, I decided not to stay. For the first time in my life I was nervous to sing. Little did I know there were only two of us they wanted to hear again. The next year I sang an aria by Verdi and was told I had received runner up right away.
Always runner up. And I had put myself there.
When I was 18 my lessons were over because I graduated from High School and Gene rarely taught adults. She had also decided to stop taking on new students, but for me, if there were no more competitions, then I hadn't the motivation. For the most part I quit singing all together. I was only runner up in something I loved and did extremely well at. I short changed myself. I decided not to continue music into my University years, which is one of my too bads.
So now on to my regret. This was incredibly hard for me, like I said, I have always told myself that I regret nothing. But after watching Amadeus, which I haven't watched in years, I was inspired and decided to sing my song that would have gotten me to the finals. I have it. It is rusty, but I do have that clear resonating voice that carries for miles. It is still there.
I decided to wash the dishes. When I wash dishes I tend to meditate, or worry really. But I meditated on my voice that I still have and finally it came to me...my regret. And here it is...
I regret not staying to sing my song again. I kept myself from succeeding I am sure because I am afraid of failure and I like to sell my self short. Why expect greatness when you are convinced it won't happen. When you are used to being 2nd.
So this year I am thankful that I was able to finally be truthful with myself...let myself have a regret that I can finally amend and come to terms with and release.
And for the moral of the story for my younger sisters (and I guess for you too dad), when you find the talent that you have, one in which you love and are effortlessly good at...continue to make it better...go the extra 10 miles to be the best. Don't short change yourself.
Here is a youtube of my favourite song I did for regional sung by Cecillia Bartoli a great opera singer. The one that I could have gone it state with:
