Bumpy Ride

Wearing Wellies

Not wearing Wellies

Everyday is a roller coaster with a toddler.  There are many times of awesome fun, funny, cute and horribly frustrating moments.

We are coming upon 28 months (or about 2 and a half) and lately the fun moments have been out-shined by the horribly frustrating moments.

The Sprout, like any toddler, is a handful and I fear it is bringing out the stressed and frustrated side of me that I really don't like.  We have been struggling for power for awhile and my little Sprout is a worthy adversary.  He is one of the most head strong people I know and would rather not go outside than put on his jacket or boots.  All of these battles make me furious and frustrated because I know they are upstaging my enjoyment of this period or the enjoyment of 5 minutes ago.

It finally snowed, meaning it is cold and wet outside.  The Sprout usually sports his skull Wellies proudly however, for some reason, he wants to wear his canvas space shoes (also beloved as we have them in 5 sizes now).  Wearing these shoes would mean cold, wet feet.  After 20 minutes of me trying to sound like a calm social worker who is stupidly trying to reason with a 2 year old, admittedly, I gave in.  Richard had his Nan on the phone, who now thinks we are degenerate parents who lets their child do whatever he wants.  I just wanted to go outside and play in the snow.  I figured, when his feet get cold, he will know what I meant.

I guess his feet don't get cold, because later that night, he still wanted to wear his canvas shoes for moon gazing and a snowball fight.  We fought and I held firm and he took off his hat and shoes and sat in the living room.  About 5 minutes after the stand-off, he brought in his boots.  We could now enjoy the moon and a late night snowball fight (he didn't have a coat on, but I didn't feel like making it a big deal).

Here is the question I pose, do I have to stand firm when every fibre of my being doesn't care or even doesn't believe in the fight at hand?  If no one is going to die and I don't really care, why do I have to pretend to care.  If I know his arms won't fall off from frostbite, why do I care that he doesn't wear a jacket?  I can get one for him when he realizes I was right.  More than that, why should I fight when it makes me a worse person?  Why should I ruin the moment if no one is going to get hurt?  Why should I end up the mother everyone stares at in the Supermarket because I have just called my child a horrible brat and the on lookers aren't sure if I'm going to give the toddler a smack (this has never happened as we don't go to the Supermarket. However, I have seen these parents many times and now I know why they have acted this way in public.  People without kids...shut up, you don't know).

To me it isn't exactly about letting him do what he wants.  He is still sent to his room when he hits, his pens are taken away if he uses them inappropriately.  If he decides he wants to be carried on a walk, we don't get to stop at the park (we actually did this, it was the most horrible thing to stay strong on). This is about the little things.  If I know he will wear his coat when he gets cold, why should I care he doesn't want to keep from getting cold by wearing it?

Should I be allowed to parent the way I want?  Most of the people who have had kids say no, and I hear you.  But I am tired and I am especially tired of these toddler years (which everyone says I should cherish because they don't last long) being ruined by small things.