Happy New Business Year

Yes, I am procrastinating.  I have one more assignment to do before my Kindermusik course is finished, it needs to be done by Sunday and it is the budget assignment.  It will be weird to complete as I have decided not to do Kindermuik at the moment, but they have provided me a good base for setting up a business and how to run a music and movement session, which has been helpful.

Starting up Little Sprout's Music Studio has proven really difficult.  I didn't think it was going to be easy, but I didn't realize how easily I take two steps back before going three steps forward.

There is so much free advertising, but the time it takes a huge amount of time to set it all up, and then, you are just one fish in a sea of millions.  Facebook, Twitter, Meet Up, Linked-In, google places,  etc., not to mention free websites such as Blogger and Wordpress.  And then the loads of sites you can pay for like Facebook, Google Adds and local sites.  I can see why people pay others to build sites and set up their social networks.

I have absolutely no money for my business and there is no way I can get a loan.  At first I was using my job at Costa to supplement some of the starting costs, but then I quit (yes, I finally quit), so I have left myself rather poor.

The ups and downs of starting a business has left me quite a mess.  One minute people are happy to help and talking of ways they can help and saying how great you are and then the next they don't really have the funding or have the funding but need to push you a head of what I am ready for pushing me to make decisions that I regret later.  I was not ready for the roller coaster.

I am still working on getting a space to do a Little Sprout's class.  I have found work with a group called Weeny Boppers at a nursery and I also do one at a children's play centre, but these are not Little Sprout's and so my business isn't getting out there.  I still do the library, but again, they don't really want me advertising paid classes.

I am still pushing on, and have bought some new instruments and other items that would allow me to do a class without having to borrow anything from anyone.  That feels pretty good.

The best of a year in facebook statuses 2010

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Wow, it is Thursday all ready. Having a day where you know you have to post something is a little stressful, I don't know how Ms. Molly has managed for the past year or so.

What has annoyed me this week?...

There are a couple of things but only one that fits into the category of this post and that is the issue of being far away from my family and friends who I know can help me get through the rest of my pregnancy (I have reached 25 weeks!). I have reached the stage where I am beginning to have some questions. Books and websites can only give you a guide. I really don't want to attend a antenatal class...I just don't (and Richard isn't too keen on it either). My mid-wife made me feel a little bad for not being up for it, I just feel that it would be a waste of time. I already know things are going to be different when the baby comes. Maybe I am being silly, and one thing my midwife did mention is that maybe it will get me to meet and befriend some new mommies in my area. Good argument...but I have many other excuses in my head to work around this argument, such as transport to get to these sessions...anyway...

The good thing that comes out of this is another argument for Facebook. In February I wrote about how Facebook helped me to feel connected to my cousins and friends when I was lonely. I have been able to post my blogs on Facebook so my cousins and friends can read them, and I have easy email access to them individually. I have found that people are so excited to give advice, and I really do appreciate it.

My new experiences in the "blog-o-sphere" have been good too. I have enjoyed finding and reading some really good blogs by people who are new to the whole mommy thing as well (I have some of their links in the side bar if anyone is interested).

So to recap...

I have been a bit upset that I don't have full access to my support system physically, however, I am thankful anyway because I have been able to find another way to access my support system that doesn't involve outrageous phone bills and plane tickets.

Question...

Do you recommend that I do the classes? Did they help you?

Writing through the loneliness

As a rule, I don't keep a journal. I used to. I have about 8 years of life stored in a box in a storage unit. I guess it was reading these journals at an older age that I decided not to keep one anymore. I suppose one might feel that a blog is a journal, but I disagree. A blog is written with the intent that others will read it; it is formatted; it has a subject; it is usually checked for grammar and spelling.

When I was away this summer, I started the blog Jessika in Nevada and enjoyed writing about the missions I was on and every once and a while, I actually wrote a good piece that was personal. I recently went over some of these posts and pieces I didn't publish and thought they were pretty good. I write quite well when it is a descriptive and reflective piece. Editorial is fine; however, it is hard to get a good flow going because of the bouts of research involved to allow some kind of coherency.

My mind (like most people) is always thinking. Some of it is worrying about things, but most of it is narration and much of it makes me chuckle. However, I can be carried away and a screenplay develops in my head that I can't stop.

I don't know why I don't write more; I probably should. I am sure I would be less stressed.

I came to the realization the other day that I was lonely. I enjoy my time with my co-workers and my husband but they are permanent, a bit like furniture (I hope this doesn't sound mean). The conversation is the same, the arguments are the same, the comments are the same, and the routine is the same. Therefore, I am lonely. Some may say I am just bored, but to me boredom is something different. Boredom is a laziness to find things to do, where as a lack of a variety of human interaction is loneliness. At work, I like to talk to people but I can't because the queue extends past the sandwich refrigerator and people get grumpy when they haven't had their caffeine and insulin fix.

I get choked up when I think about this realization and the majority extends to the fact that I miss my family (see right there, watery eyes). Facebook led me to this epiphany. The amount of times I log onto my page is staggering. A couple of weeks ago I had 90 "friends" (which isn't that many by most people's standards). These "friends" included people from university, family, co-workers, people I grew up with and didn't talk to anymore, and people I still talk to or were good friends in high school and therefore e-mail from time to time. Suddenly I became overwhelmed by the feeds from people I hadn't liked since elementary school, never thought about until I saw their name on the "People You May Know" list, or people who I just didn't really know. When my "friends" list hit 90 a light went on in my head...I didn't care about most of these people, and I immediately deleted 45 of them. POW! Just like that.

I am so excited about my "friends" list now. It contains people I actually care about. More importantly, it contains family whom I am excited to read about. The following people make my day happy after logging onto Facebook:

Peter, Bryna, Carol, Amanda and Flip (though they are never on), Jared, Kathleen, Marya, Eric, Jan, Danny, Molly, Ron M. (the true Ron, as he says), Darby, Ben R., Ben W., Andrea, Shinee, Johnny and Matt.

Thanks guys for making me feel a little less lonely.